Wedding Wednesday…The Etiquette

One day, maybe I’ll write a weekly newspaper column about wedding etiquette and the in’s and out’s of being a good guest/bride/bridesmaid/etc, but until that day, I wanted to share some lessons I’ve learned these past 14 months that could just help some of you out…
{and by no means am I claiming to be the “end all” of etiquette, however, after being in a number of my friends’ weddings, attending countless shindigs, and now working through the final chapters of planning my own soiree, I think I may be able to offer some helpful advice/tips and tricks…hopefully}

Number 1: If you do not receive “and guest” on your wedding invitation, you shouldn’t be bringing a +1. Some people-myself included-are limited to the number of people they can invite to their weddings/rehearsals/showers/parties/etc. This is a delicate issue for some people, and the way I look at it for my own guest list planning was this…if you have a longtime significant other that we have met OR know personally, you get to bring them–the more the merrier! However, if you’re just wanting to bring a date so you don’t have to wedding crash, leave that for the afterparty please. This goes the same for children…if they aren’t included on the invitation, {inner envelope is where their names would be included} then it’s time to find a good babysitter for the festivities. Sorry to say, this isn’t a daycare party.

Number 2: They send you a Response Card for a reason. Contrary to popular belief, response cards and reply envelopes do matter ladies and gentlemen. To simply throw this away and show up is rude, and just plain mean. These friends/family/colleagues have invited you to their wedding for a reason, and you should extend the same kindness and send in your RSVP-by the due date. Factoring in a headcount for final food/alcohol/seating/etc is extremely important not to mention costly so please please please…send these back in a timely fashion!

Number 3: If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. No offense, but wedding planning puts you in a bubble–an out-of-body experience where all you can dream about is flowers galore, feeding cake to your cute new hubby, dancing with all your friends to your favorite wedding band, and yes, the list goes on and on. If the person planning their wedding asks you for advice, by all means, don’t hold back and be truthful in your answers, but if you feel as though you should offer your two cents any time you get the opportunity, please refrain. We all have different tastes and each person’s wedding should reflect their personality, not your vision. Don’t rain on their parade!!

Number 4: The Registry Information. This pertinent info should ONLY be included on party and shower invitations and/or wedding websites, not the actual wedding invitation. It’s like you’re advertising your guests to bring gifts to your nuptuals–and that just sounds greedy.

Number 5: The People Who Can’t Arrive On Time. If you arrive at the church during the procession, you should wait until the bride has gone down the aisle before entering. Please don’t peek through the doors to watch because you’ll absolutely show up in her photos, which no doubt will make for an unhappy bride {not something anyone wants!} If you are late for the ceremony, you should walk down an outside aisle and find a seat quickly and quietly.

Number 6 {and this is the BIG one friends}: Unless you are THE bride, any shade of white OR ivory is off limits and completely inapprorpriate to wear to ANY wedding event. I have a feeling I may get some slack for this one, but it’s true… your friend/family member/other important person has most likely waited a long time to be a “vision in white” so please just simply leave it alone. People will notice and it won’t be pretty–trust me, I have seen it before with my own two eyes, and I couldn’t help but say ‘what was she thinking?’

So friends, we’re coming into the home stretch here…I can’t believe we only have 66 more days until we tie the knot! Last weekend, I was able to knockout a huge amount of my to-do list…ordered cocktail napkins with our custom monogram, finished and mailed all my thank-you notes for shower gifts {before the 10 day deadline!}, and ordered the groomsmen gifts. This week, I am putting the finishing touches on all the invitations–only 20 more to finish the calligraphy on, and then they will go out to our guests next week–OH SO EXCITED!!

This weekend, we’re headed to Knoxville for our couple’s shower, thrown by my two best friends and their husbands as well as my MOH’s parents…I cannot wait!! They all know how to throw a great party and Jeff and I can’t wait to see some old and new friends in our other home away from home city.

Happy Wednesday friends…I’m off to diffuse some not-so-great news I was delivered this morning. I think this may be a cupcake for lunch kinda day with the way it’s starting off–deep breaths, deep breaths! Love to you all 😉