Blogging isn’t for the weak of heart…I’ve had my fair share of trials and tribulations when it comes to a public writing/posting forum where you subject yourself to the worldwide web and the masses who tune in daily to get a sneak peak at your life. Though I have to also say that my experience has seen way more positive than the negative so to those of you who have stuck with me these past 6+ years, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Today, I’m tackling something head on and something that’s been weighing on my mind…and that subject is the GOMI website. If you’ve never heard of it, consider yourself lucky. Basically, it’s a website for people to go on and post “snarks” about their hate reads/websites they aren’t particularly fond of…yes, I’m putting it nicely because in all actuality, I think it’s an awful space for anyone to waste time on.
I’ve read some of my favorite bloggers responses to their GOMI threads and I’m taking the same route today and posting my response on my blog, rather than creating an account and adding anymore words on that website. In addition, I am sure some of my readers have questions/curiousness/doubts about me and I am here to clear it all up, so you can hear it from me firsthand. I think when someone attacks who you are as a person, your character, your marriage, your children, and anything of the sort, you should be able to respond to them in a dignified way, and this is the clarification I am hoping to get.
I think by now, you know I am an open book, so in certain instances, I might share too much, but it’s who I am and I hope you won’t fault me for being me. Here goes nothing:
P.S. I’m going back to the beginning of my “thread” so my answers/responses can be as cohesive and all encompassing as possible.
To the GOMIs Regarding the Portrayal of my Perfect Life/Kids/Family
I don’t pretend my life is perfect…though I am a “perfectionist” and sometimes I might try too hard to attain that appearance. It’s never going to happen, so I need to stop striving for that.
Someone mentioned my family dynamic regarding my parents. My dad is my stepfather, not my birth father, but as far as I am concerned, he is my dad…the man who raised me from the time I was 6 years old. Yes, I refer to him as my dad because in fact he is my father. And someone said they assumed my mom is my birth mom…ummm yes, the person who I look identical to is indeed, my real mother…shocking I know (sorry for the sarcastic tone, but I couldn’t help but laugh that someone really questioned that).
To the GOMI who said she “knows” me (i.e. her husband is friends with my ex-boyfriend from 6+ years ago), you might want to check your sources before you report on nonfactual information… you said I was raised by my grandparents and lived with them throughout my school years…that is false and you may want to get your facts in order before jumping on said lurker website to state things you simply have no idea about. It’s evident that your husband obviously doesn’t know me, nor my background and/or adolescence. My grandparents did indeed help when it came to keeping me when my parents traveled for work, taking me to and from softball practice/dance class and picking me up from school, but I think that’s pretty common when your family lives close.
Regarding my mention of a step-brother…yes, I have a step brother whose name is Justin. He is my dad’s son from his first marriage and he is the same age as me. He lives in Ohio with his wife and we see them on occasion, though he is getting his Ph.D. from Ohio State so he might be a little preoccupied to be featured regularly on my blog.
In terms of Jeff’s family, we do see them regularly, though I know they value their privacy and I’m certain they don’t want to be plastered all over my blog. I will, however, try to do a better job of posting when we visit them over the holidays because they are an important part of our family life.
A few of you even mentioned that you think I miss my former lifestyle and “partying”. Honestly, I think with age comes a certain maturity and the things I enjoyed in my early 20s just don’t appeal to me anymore. I have a husband, two children, and they are my priority…not going out all weekend, drinking and visiting bars and staying out until 2AM. We do go out on occasion with our friends and it’s fun every once in awhile…just not an every weekend kind of occurrence. You live and you learn and I did go through a huge change when I was 26…I was saved and became a Christian and yes, that has changed my outlook on life and the things I choose to do.
Dear GOMIs Discussing My Husband/Relationship/Dating
To the people who said I dated Jeff for money, wow…you have been watching way too much reality TV/drama because my mind just doesn’t think that way. Did it ever occur to you that we dated each other because we actually LIKED each other? In all actuality, my husband pursued me…not the other way around. If you read back in the archives of my blog, you can see where I mentioned Jeff and I hanging out as friends, him asking me out a few times, and then I finally listened to my heart, and said yes to having dinner with him. That wasn’t a decision I took lightly, as I knew we had been friends for a long time and if we started dating, that would change the dynamic of our relationship. Yes, my husband and I are both educated and have done well for ourselves, but that hasn’t come without tremendous sacrifice and if you remember, I had a successful career in marketing before I began dating my husband.
To the GOMIs Who Like to Talk About My Children
Someone mentioned I have blatant favoritism with my first child over my second. Then someone else comes on the thread later to say I love the second one more. I can’t even describe how that feels to read something like that. Honestly, I’d be ashamed of myself if I ever said that about someone else and evidently you aren’t mothers…I love my children with every ounce of my being and love them equally, but I also love them differently because they are two completely original individuals and God made them that way for a reason. Never once have I loved one of my girls more than the other and to say that is just hateful.
I ask you nicely to please quit discussing/snarking on my girls. Talk about me all you want, but please leave them alone.
Dear GOMI People Concerned about Our Dog, Chloe
Dear GOMIs Who Love to Talk About My Career/Sugar Bit
Someone said I dress my kids in Carter’s/Baby Gap/Etc…heck yes I do! These retailers are awesome and they make some great, everyday basics as well as other styles, too. They said I’m selling stuff I don’t even like? You must have me confused for someone else because this girl has always loved her some adorable baby clothes…Caroline had a fully stocked closet before she ever entered the world, because I couldn’t wait to play dress up with a girl. If you read the background of why I started Sugar Bit, you’ll realize that I wanted to curate a shop filled with ensembles for special occasions, outings, parties, and other events in addition to the everyday play wear. I dress my girls like I dress myself…a mix of basics from the cost conscious places blended with other boutique items that stand out and make a statement.
Others said my boutique is lame. Well you are certainly entitled to your opinion and I respect that. Of course there are people out there who won’t like what Sugar Bit sells and that’s OK, too. They said my styles won’t sell to southerners…totally get that. But at the same time, I am gearing our collections to people other than those in the Southern region, which is why you’ll find an eclectic mix of traditional and trendy pieces…I am hoping we can appeal to people throughout the US and other countries. To each their own 🙂 I’m all for some constructive criticism, and I am just trying to do the best I can with my business.
To the GOMIs Discussing my Appearance/Weight/Looks/Fashion Sense/Personality
Not everyone likes the way I present myself or the way I look, um, OK? People are bound to talk about what I wear, my weight, my skin, etc and I get that… I’m sure you look 100% presentable and put together ALL of the time, too, right?
To those talking about where I shop/how I dress…yes, I am a savvy shopper and I do shop at a variety of stores, from Gap to Forever 21 to JCrew Factory to Target to local/online boutiques. No, I don’t spend a tremendous amount of money on my clothes…I also shop when they have sales so that I can save money. I do on occasion splurge on a nice pair of shoes or a handbag, but that’s because I save to be able to buy a specific item and not feel guilty about it. And no, I don’t use credit cards to shop…paid off my debt after I got out of college and will never go down that path again.
I have wrinkles…yes, you’re right I do. Do I wish I didn’t? Absolutely! Am I willing to get Botox to fix that? Nope. Not as high on my priority scale at this moment in my life. Unfortunately, I spent a lot of my teen/college/early 20s in a tanning bed and I am paying that price now (which I have mentioned previously as a warning to others). That’s also why I have discussed going to the dermatologist to help prevent skin cancer/precancerous spots/etc…learn from my mistakes! They said I look geriatric/look like I’m 60…well, I am sorry my looks bother you, but I also have two young children and a 10 hour night of sleep isn’t something I have seen much of in the past 2.5 years. What more is there to say. Skincare hasn’t been something I have been diligent about until recently and it’s something that takes time to combat. It baffles me that people spend so much time discussing what others look like and snarking on that. But by all means, if you have some product recommendations that don’t cost $300, please send them my way. I love hearing what works well for others and could potentially help me.
As for my “Oompa Loompa” look because I get spray tans…obviously that’s not a compliment, but having “color” that doesn’t involve me subjecting myself to further sun damage is better, so oh well on that one. You win some, you lose some, but I think I look better having a “faux glow”.
And to the ones who discussed my weight, yes I have lost weight from my early 20s… probably because I’m not indulging in alcohol as much as I used to, or eating late night junk food like we did when we went out all the time… things change as we get older and mature. Yes, I was thicker around my mid-section and then started watching my weight/diet/exercised more when I was in wedding planning mode…in all, I wanted a better, healthier lifestyle so that’s where I’m at today.
Someone also specifically mentioned that my “ombre” hair is awful…there was a discussion geared towards our family beach pictures and someone said my hair stuck out like a sore thumb…I totally agree. My hairdresser had actually used a different product on my hair when I visited her before our trip and I had to go back to get her to tone down the brightness. I wasn’t happy with it at all, and was disappointed in the way it looked for our pictures as well. Do I wish I could Photoshop that picture and have it not so bright? Heck yes. Lesson learned the hard way on that one.
As an additional mention, to the woman who said she ran into me while shopping last week who decided not to come up and say hi, but to observe me in a non-stalker-like-way, YOU NEED TO GET A LIFE. You decided to follow me around and watch us while I was on a mommy-daughter date with Caroline…that’s profoundly pathetic and sad that you did that AND then had to come report about it on GOMI. Saying I looked rough/bad/had an old lady face…again, I won’t apologize that my looks offended you, but I will say I’m sorry that you thought it more appropriate to lurk instead of going about your day.
To the GOMIs Regarding Blog Posts/Giveaways/Features/Etc
Finally, I hope this post doesn’t come across as arrogant, sarcastic, insincere, or anything of the like. This was my best attempt to clear the air about specific things people might have questions about me and my blog. My life is just that…mine and I am living it the best way I know how. I’m just a normal person, overcoming obstacles, trying to raise my children, making mistakes, attempting to be a good wife/friend/mother/daughter/etc, and doing the best I can with what God gave me. I hope this helps you see the true me just a little bit better.